You Are Not Alone - Recovery IS Possible!

It’s time for some spring cleaning!

2011-05-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

Last month, I cleaned out my clothes cupboard. I haven’t done so in a few years, so it actually took me a while to go through everything. And it made me think of the last time I gave my cupboard a good clean… and that was during my recovery from eating disorders. And I couldn’t help but think what was different this time versus the last….

No “bad body” feelings were associated with any of the clothes. Years ago, that wouldn't have been the case.

During my struggle with eating disorders and through the recovery process, my cupboard was filled with clothes in several different sizes. At that time, every of piece clothing had a specific meaning—it was a way to measure my own personal self-worth. If I couldn't fit into certain clothes, I'd be mad at myself.

At some point during my recovery, I finally made the decision to get rid of my old “eating disorder days” clothes. And even though it was difficult to give away certain clothes (because a part of me was still hoping to fit into them one day), I knew it was the best thing for me to do... I realized that I couldn't be truly free of this clothing-size obsession—and learn to be happy with my body—if I was reminded of these clothes every day when I got dressed. And I also knew that I couldn’t really recover and still fit into the clothes I wore while I was sick. It was either or. And I chose recovery. I got to the point that learning to be happy with myself and living life (versus just existing) became much more important to me than how much I weighed or what dress size I could squeeze myself into.

Saying goodbye to my ‘sick’ clothes (and my scale!!!) was a huge step forward in my recovery.

I encourage you to do the same. If you also have 'sick' clothes in your cupboard, now's the time to get rid of them. It might be a scary thought, but it's something that helped me a lot and will likely do the same for you.

Inspiring Woman of the Month: Rosie Molinary

2011-04-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

This month, I have the pleasure of introducing you to author and positive body image activist Rosie Molinary. In the following interview, she talks about her own journey to self-acceptance and how she learned to feel good about herself and life.

Thanks so much, Rosie,
for your time and for sharing your story with us!

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Tell us a bit about yourself.

I live in North Carolina with my husband and our little boy who is 2½ years old. We adopted him from Ethiopia just over two years ago. When I am not working or mothering, I enjoy reading, watching NFL football (it’s probably my biggest quirk), painting, vegetable gardening, cooking, cycling, yoga, and Pilates.

I started my career as a high school teacher in the inner city, and I continue to have a passion for education and social justice. I serve as the board chair to Circle de Luz (www.circledeluz.org), a non-profit that a strong, committed group of women started in 2008 in an effort to radically empower young Latinas by supporting and inspiring them in the pursuit of their possibilities through extensive mentoring, holistic programming, and scholarship funds for further education.

Another passion of mine is writing. My first book came out in 2007 and is titled Hijas Americanas: Beauty, Body Image, and Growing Up Latina (Seal Press). My second book, Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self Acceptance (Seal Press), came out in October 2010. In addition to writing, I teach courses on body image and women and media in the Women’s and Gender Studies Department and Honors College at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte and speak on these topics around the country.

Tell us about your own journey to self-acceptance and a positive body image?

For a significant part of my coming of age, I struggled with how I was different—I am Puerto Rican and grew up in South Carolina at a time when there were very few Latinos in the community.

And then, I ultimately came to this moment of clarity, where I realized that waiting for a consistent reaction to my looks, my reality might mean that I was going to wait for a long time—even forever because I couldn’t control how other people took me in. All I could control was how I embraced myself.

And that was a big first step to feeling peace with my physicality.

From there, I decided that I would do my best to treat my body well and that the journey was really the point—not getting to a destination of thinness or long, raven hair or whatever the obsession could be—but journeying through how to love and be loved which ultimately makes me feel much better than those physical features ever could.

If I had to describe how I feel about my body now, it would be peace. My body is not as strong as I’d like for it to be and it’s not as picture-perfect as some bodies are, but the truth is that it has truly never betrayed me. That is not to say that I have never, in the past, wished that it looked different. There have been those times. What I mean by saying that it has never betrayed me is that it has gotten me through everything I have asked of it—100+ plus mile bike rides, long hikes, night times spent patrolling a beach in Trinidad to protect leatherback turtles, accompanying my father through health crises that have included an extended treatment process for an advanced lymphoma and a coma, waking for every wailing episode of my son’s infancy (and there were so many) and then sustaining me through the next day in a way that allowed me to appropriately mother despite the lack of sleep.

My body has done everything I have asked of it, and, for a long time, it did it with very little gratitude from me. When I think about how unkind I have been with my thoughts toward my body while it has simultaneously been so kind to my soul with all that it has allowed me to accomplish, I am humbled. I wish to not ever be that unkind to the vessel that I’ve been given to enjoy and experience this life again. So, that’s the promise I made to my body years ago. You’ve been good to me. I will be good, in all of its manifestations, back.

Congratulations on your latest book, "Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance." Tell us more about it.

After I wrote Hijas Americanas, which was about the coming of age experiences of Latinas, I was struck by how the conversation in the book about body image and beauty perception as well as the messages shared about those issues—that we are all enough, that our uniqueness is beautiful—were universally embraced by women.

Women are really hungering for affirmation of what they inherently know to be true and guidance for how to let that truth shine out in them.

I have always been particularly interested in journaling and in creating and taking actionable steps towards a larger goal and so the idea of putting together an action plan and empowerment guide for women where they could put together the pieces to their larger goal of loving and accepting themselves really resonated with me.

In Beautiful You, I wanted to take so much of the theory we know to be true about how to fall in love with yourself and offer yourself care and give women actionable steps that get them there. Each day begins with a short essay, reflective passage and then it is followed by a task. Each step is doable in a day, isn’t too overwhelming, and really motivates the reader to build on her process.

Too often, we believe we will finally be content when our body changes in some way. Actually, we’ll be content only when our mind changes, when we give ourselves permission and the tools to be content and that takes some time.

Beautiful You provides the tools—vision, passion, purpose, resilience, productivity—for every woman who wants to see beauty in a way that is true to who she is and not in the way the world hands it to her. The tasks really vary from journaling exercises where you look at beliefs you have about yourself, joys you have experienced or challenges to actionable steps like working on maintaining eye contact with others, watching what you say or think about yourself, or writing a loved one a letter to let them know how you feel. While the steps are each doable in a day, I am hopeful that people will feel such satisfaction from some of them—like maintaining eye contact—that they will incorporate them into their everyday behaviors, further boosting their confidence and sense of self-acceptance.

What’s your favourite “feel good about yourself and life” tip?

There are some exercises whose incorporation into my life made a significant, positive difference over the years. But I think the tip that has had the most profound impact on my life—and my self-acceptance—is “Celebrate Your Birth Day” (“Day 32” in Beautiful You).

Every year on my birthday, I write a list of things I want to accomplish, try, enjoy, before my next birthday. The number of items on the list corresponds with how old I’ve turned.

I started this tradition in my mid-twenties when my self-care was really suffering and I was a constantly sick but very professionally satisfied high school teacher and coach. The thing is I had a bit of revolving door experience with the local emergency room—I was that sickly—and the emergency room doctor who I kept seeing finally said to me, “I am willing to keep seeing you here if you are willing to keep landing yourself here.” His words made me realize that sickness wasn’t happening to me, I was evoking sickness in my self because of the way I worked so hard and so compulsively and didn’t rest or eat right or nurture myself in any way.

I lived in fear of letting my students down and so I worked incredibly hard to not do that. But I worked so hard that it was not sustainable and, in fact, was debilitating. I realized that I was going to get to the age of retirement never having done anything but teach (which is amazing but life was meant to be more broad than that).

There was another realization that hit me at that time. My parents gave me an incredible gift as a girl by staying in this country after my father retired from the US Military (as opposed to moving back to Puerto Rico where all their family was) so that I could be educated here (I was in 2nd grade when my father retired). That said, there were not resources in my family for me to be able to try many other things.

All of a sudden, I realized that I was an adult and it was up to me whether or not I tried those things, gave myself those opportunities. So I conceived the ‘birthday list’ as a way to dabble in experiences that might become hobbies for me as well as to encourage self-care while trying to live the life I imagined.

I learned how to horseback ride, how to swim, started running and cycling, tried yoga and Pilates, planted a vegetable garden, got certified in first aid and CPR, learned how to change a bike tire, tried surfing and tennis, took cooking lessons, tried watercolor painting and pottery, visited Germany, Brazil, Ethiopia, and Scotland, worked with leatherback turtles, and the lists go on.

Over time, the list broadened my understanding of myself. The list is how I live my life—it is a realization of the possibility that exists in everything, most especially, me. I am not static. I am vital and ever-changing. Understanding that has given me a peace about both my physical and emotional way of being in this world.

Anything else you'd like to share?

I really want for women to release themselves from standards that weren’t of their own imagining and that keep them from being their best selves—and anything that keeps you from thinking positively about yourself and behaving respectfully towards yourself falls in that category.

I want us to take the time and make the effort to get to know ourselves and then to move forward from an authentic place. We have to champion all women. As long as one woman is crippled by feelings of inadequacy, then the world that we have created is inadequate. Supporting one another and freeing one another from the limiting messages that we internalize can be revolutionary.

We make the choice whether to internalize these messages. We make the choice whether to build up or tear down. We can have power in our lives by not taking in negative messages, and we can empower other women by not sending out negative messages.

When we begin to see women in all of their dimensions, we begin to eradicate confining stereotypes and worldviews. We start to see all women as complex individuals, and not just as part of a larger stereotypical whole.

We can choose to create a society that encourages women to be healthier and more whole, a society that unites us in our commonalities while acknowledging the depth of the individual. The more we challenge the limits we place on each other, the more open the world will be to all of us.

How do you see your future, what are your goals?

If I’ve learned anything, life happens while you are making plans. What I know to be true is that I want to be of use, I want to live as authentically as I can, and I want to help others do that as well.

My professional work is an unbalanced triangle of writing, teaching/speaking, and activism through Circle de Luz, and I just move from corner to corner as each area has a need that must be met.

I’d love to start work on another book. I’d love for Circle de Luz to secure funding that would allow us (Circle de Luz is led by an all volunteer force to be reckoned with) to hire staff and expand it in a way that would positively impact the lives of even more girls around the country.

I’d love to get on the road more to take the Beautiful You message to more people as I so believe in releasing women from the agony we sometimes inflict on ourselves.

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For more information about Rosie Molinary and her work, visit her website at http://rosiemolinary.com

Inspiring Woman of the Month: Kaylin Jeanette Ohler

2011-03-31T11:56:00.000-07:00

This month, I have the pleasure of introducing you to eating disorder activist Kaylin Jeanette Ohler. In the following interview, she’ll talk about her own struggles with eating disorders and body image issues, her recovery journey, and how she is reaching out to make a difference and inspire others to keep working so hard on their recovery.

Thanks so much, Kaylin, for your time
and for sharing your story with us!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tell us a bit about yourself.

My name is Kaylin Jeanette Ohler, I am 22 years old, and I grew up in Norfolk, Nebraska. I enjoy reading, writing, hiking, the beach, and being out in nature. I love warm weather, sunsets, my family, and learning more about myself each day. I blush easily. I am a survivor. I love to laugh and smile, and sometimes I do it so much my cheeks hurt. I enjoy singing, dancing, and expressing myself freely. I enjoy art, photography, and all sorts of music. I really like motorcycles, roller coasters, and cannot wait to try skydiving. I enjoy church, and walking in faith. I volunteer and have an insurmountable passion to help others! Cannot wait to see what life has in store.

When and how did your struggles with eating disorders begin?

My eating disorder began when I was a five-year-old kindergarten girl wearing ruffles and bright colored headbands. I was extremely self-conscious, shy, uncomfortable being around others, and embarrassed easily, and my feelings were like china glass; they broke very effortlessly.

From pre-school to kindergarten I had already began comparing myself to the other girls. By kindergarten I began comparing my weight on our take-home report cards. If mine wasn’t the lowest I felt unhappy. If my grades were lower; I felt dumb. This cycle only continued and got worse as the years came and went. I learned that makeup made girls prettier and they got attention from guys. I wanted that. I learned what “good and bad” foods were. I couldn’t eat those foods if I wanted to beautiful and thin. If I did allow myself to eat one of the forbidden foods then I had to exercise beyond the already extreme amounts. I started lying to skip meals with family, I went home for “lunch,” and did whatever I could to keep my new “healthy” way of life. I was just on a diet. No big deal, right? Wrong. My dearest childhood friend spoke my secret. My mom took me to the doctor where I was diagnosed with anorexia at the end of my fourth grade. This began my very long journey of tears, treatment centers, depression, darkness, and trying to be someone other than myself.

I believed the lies of the media, society, health professionals in my community, and buried myself in calorie counting books. I made collages of what society “deemed” beautiful. I relied on changing myself on the outside because that is what got me accepted. I remember in seventh and eighth grade I was just a plain girl who didn’t wear makeup and was simple. That was highly looked down upon. I was like a speck on the wall that everyone walked past. I changed how I acted, talked, walked, dressed, began to paint my face with color, and I was noticed. I got accepted in the “popular crowd,” and I faked my happiness once I was.

My ED (eating disorder) became my back-pocket tool. I used it whenever I felt shame, guilt, rejection, fear, anger, loneliness, inferiority, jealousy, or worthlessness. I used it when I was stressed, overwhelmed, didn’t do well on a test, to numb myself from family problems, and to escape the reality of my life. Crude comments from people gave me a reason to use it, or so I thought.

I was told I was a chronic anorexic, I would never recover, and I would battle intensely with this for the rest of my life. I did for many years after that. I felt like most had given up on me, they were tired of the same old problems and broken promises, and that life would be better off without me. But I had some very special people in my world who stood by my side, encouraged me, cried with me, watched me nearly lose my life, and now…they say, “You are glowing. You look so happy. You have your sparkle back.”

How did you get started in your recovery?

I first began traveling the road to recovery right after I was diagnosed in fourth grade by doing outpatient services. The problem was that I didn’t truly want it. I thought I did and I continued to think I did through and throughout every one of my 14 admissions into various treatments and with every professional I encountered. I honestly did what I knew I needed to do in treatment so I could get out and start again. I always made excuses that I could allow myself to engage in certain unhealthy behaviors and “that would be it.” I would end up spiraling out of control each time. Some periods without treatment lasted longer but I missed so many years of school from my sixth grade year until my junior year of high school.

I made a commitment that I wasn’t going to go back to treatment and I was going to make it, but I didn’t know how. Everyone really thought I had things together because I graduated early from high school and started college early. After all, I was at a healthy weight, so there must not be anything wrong with me, right? Wrong.

I did have a smile plastered on my face but I was struggling inside and crying behind closed doors. I was lying, being manipulative, and full of excuses; I was ungrateful, I couldn’t have a healthy relationship, my life was all school/work, and I honestly didn’t know who this person was staring back at me in the mirror but I hated her. I didn’t want to know myself so why would anyone else? Believe it or not, I lost myself even more when I moved from my hometown of Norfolk, Nebraska to Omaha, Nebraska to continue with schooling there. I lost myself so much that I let people treat me like a doormat, I was taking care of everyone else but myself, I had no voice and when I did I was angry, I didn’t think for myself (ED did), I didn’t care, I had to quit work, and my life was crashing before me.

In fall of 2009, everything began to surface and reality hit me smack in the face. Actually it felt like someone punched me in the stomach several times without letting up. A dear friend of mine lost her life to the eating disorder at age 19. My sister and I were not talking, I could hardly walk up the stairs without feeling weak, I began to get light-headed all the time, and had a few fainting episodes. There wasn’t a week I wasn’t sick that year, and I honestly knew I wasn’t going to make it if I continued to be a part of the problem rather than the solution.

I got back in touch with a dietitian who knew me from the beginning and a therapist who had been an amazing part of my life. They spent their time trying to support, help, and encourage me. It wasn’t enough. I knew I needed more but I didn’t have insurance and I didn’t have the finances to pay. I began searching on the Internet, calling or emailing every treatment center asking about scholarships, financing, and gathering any information I could. I continued to get no after no and dead ends. I didn’t stop. I applied for scholarships. I didn’t hear back from many and didn’t get another one. But by the grace of God I met two amazing women who forever have a special place in my heart: Kirsten (eating disorder survivor and Miss America 2008) and Iora Huglund.

They began a scholarship foundation and I had been in touch with them for a while. They were helping me keep my spirits up while I was waiting, making sure I was still hanging in there. The day they called me and told me I had been chosen to receive treatment out in California, I cried. I could not stop the stream of tears that was stinging my eyes. I felt fear, anxiety, and yet relief. Something in me knew that this was going to be it. I was done. I was going to leave ED behind.

I was so grateful. This was my ticket to life again. Yet, I was wrestling with my thoughts on whether or not I should go. It was during that week that I found myself passed out on hardwood floors. I got up sometime in the morning and went to the bathroom to see if I had hurt myself. I wasn’t prepared to see what I did. As I looked in the mirror the image staring back at me was a far too familiar one, but nearly made me drop to my knees in shock. I saw this person who was ungodly sick: I looked emaciated, and I was grey, colorless. They were my eyes looking into the mirror but the image was a flashback of my friend’s funeral whose life was stolen from Ed. This is what was going to happen to me if I didn’t go. I cried. But I packed my bags, I had a friend stay with me, and on July 5, 2010 I entered a life of recovery.

I had my hard times in treatment when I let ED dictate my thoughts and actions, but I began to stand up for my life. I let myself do things I normally wouldn’t do. I was laughing and smiling, and my clothes were fitting. I wasn’t so emotional, I could think, I had a voice, and I was assertive with what I truly needed. It was amazing but scary. I had never felt this way before—free.

I took yet another leap of faith. I went home for a visit in August and ate my first piece of cake at my nephew Rowan’s sixth birthday party. I have never eaten with them on special occasions, let alone cake. It was delicious!

I told my school I wasn’t coming back to accept my position in the social work program: I was letting my full-ride go, and I was leaving everyone I knew 1,500 miles away. I knew this was my chance to continue to grow, to just be me, and to keep my recovery. I had no idea where I was going to live, what I would do for a job, or where I would go to school.

I sit here ten months later and I am happy, content, and grateful. Sure, I wish I had my own place and were farther along in school. But I finally was blessed with a job I am passionate about, I found my faith, I have a voice, I respect myself, I have recovery, and I have many wonderful people in my life. Life truly is wonderful, and to think that it has only just begun for me.

What helped you most in your recovery?

What helped me most in my recovery was (1) finding my faith. It was truthfully the missing piece I had been looking for and had tried to fill with external means which left me empty. I found an amazing church with so much passion and energy for life, and it truly is like Heaven here on earth there.

(2) I got honest with myself and knew that the life I was living wasn’t life at all. I was stuck in a prison of my own mind. One that was cold, lonely, and dark. I was so tired of it. I had to be done or it was going to take my life.

(3) I had to stop trying to be perfect and please everyone. Imperfection is beauty. Being perfect is a standard that no one can reach and I knew I would end my life trying.

(4) I had to start loving myself like I loved others. I could not help others and make the difference I wanted to make if I was sick. I wanted to turn the energy I spent trying to keep the eating disorder and turn it towards recovery, life, and happiness. I wanted to be a healthy role model for my beautiful four-year-old niece, Zoey. I wanted to have a strong, healthy relationship with myself so that I attract others who are positive, respect me, and make me want to be a better person. I also learned that I do not need validation from the outside world; I need it from within myself. Bottom line, I had to pick and choose whether I wanted to live or die; I chose to live.

Tell us more about your passion to make a difference.

I have a passion and fire inside me to keep spreading awareness about eating disorders. The more people know the better. Knowledge is our sword against eating disorders. Both of my parents were not aware of eating disorders when I was diagnosed in fourth grade. I want parents, children, families, friends, and the community at large to have the support they deserve, to know about the resources available, and have the information they need when they need it.

I really want to bring hope, encouragement, and a message that they are worth the fight. That no one’s value is determined by a number, what society deems beautiful, or because of anything external or materialistic things. I want them to know that their true beauty is insurmountable and wonderful. I want to help others shorten their life spent enmeshed in such a dark war within themselves, and help them regain a beautiful, colorful life.

I work at an eating disorder treatment facility, I am a part of different blogs and support sites, I go around and speak at schools for a variety of classes (www.omaha.com/article/20100223/NEWS02/702239848), and I am involved with NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) in any way I can be. I have learned to not stand back in the shadows, but to use my voice. I don’t wait for others to come up to me; I go to them. I tell them, this is what I want to do, and I ask them to be a part of it. I do not always get the answer I want, but I do not back down and I keep going. I keep going because this is near and dear to me and I love being of service. This is sort of my own little ministry I have with myself.

In 2010, you coordinated the first NEDA walk in Nebraska—tell us more about this experience.

Coordinating the first NEDA walk in Nebraska was like walking in the dark forest of the Amazon. Okay, I am exaggerating a bit! It was a very time-consuming and wonderful journey. I would do it over again in a heartbeat and plan to continue to do others now that I am here in California, once I get settled.

Many people didn’t know if it could be done in the amount of time I had, but I knew deep in my heart that this is what I was destined to do; passion fueled me. I had a few others helping with a few things as well. I started writing letters of support, emailing, calling, and contacting anyone I could in order to get people involved—involved by registering, donating, making in-kind donations for our raffle, refreshments, and t-shirts. I had an amazing person who made a generous in-kind donation of the hundreds of customized shirts, someone who donated personalized flyers I designed, and volunteers who wanted to help in any way they could. I cried so much during this process because I was so grateful for the support. Without the donations, the support of the community, the help of the media that helped me put the message out, and the support of NEDA answering my million questions, this wouldn’t have come together as it did.

On the night of June 25, 2010, a friend and I were out writing on the sidewalk with chalk. We were writing encouraging affirmations for the walkers all along the route. It was dark when we got back to the car and I found my window had been broken out of my car and my personal belongings stolen.

I couldn’t believe it! Here I was out making the sidewalk pretty and someone vandalized my car! As upsetting as it was, I still kept my spirits high and kept a grateful attitude for all the work that had been accomplished—plus I think I was very tired, so I began to find the whole situation quite funny! I couldn’t believe the morning of the walk had arrived on the beautiful summer morning of June 26. We got there to set up around 7:30 am and what was an empty parking lot turned into hundreds of cars, tables with information, snacks, refreshments, our raffled items, and hundreds of amazing people gathering together to fight. I sit here typing this and I just got the goosebumps thinking about how beautiful it was to see so many people walking together. Walking for those who had been lost, those who were healthy and won, those who are still fighting, people who knew someone, or just people who cared. Many traveled hours and from surrounding states to be there in Omaha, Nebraska. In my heart, it was in honor of two beautiful young women who had just lost their lives’ to this destructive battle.

A sight that forever will stand in my heart is when a beautiful mother who had lost her precious daughter only a month before went up and hugged my dad. Wow, my eyes are stinging just thinking about it. It was a day of support, hope, and one to never be forgotten.

The outcome of that day was beyond my wildest dreams. News crews came and covered the event (www.norfolkdailynews.com/main.asp?SectionID=3&SubSectionID=104&ArticleID=23515&PollID=879&btnView=1); over 230 individuals came to walk together that day, hundreds others donated financially, and over $15,000 was raised to support NEDA. It is still amazing to me when I think about it.

For those who are wanting to do an NEDA walk or other events to raise funding and awareness, the NEDA website is wonderful for guidance, and anyone whom you contact with there will guide you and support you every step of the way. Make sure to have a group of people to help and support you. Even the little things we do can make such a difference—and to think it all starts with a desire to help others and to take that first step.

What are your goals? How do you see your future?

My vision I have for my future is far beyond my current resources but it allows me to keep reaching and stretching each and every day. I have really learned that everything will come together when the time is right. After five months of becoming a “professional application submitter,” I received a wonderful gift and am beginning a new chapter in my life as I enter a new job. I am privileged to be a house manager at an eating disorder treatment facility here in Southern California. That has been a goal and a passion of mine to reach.

I plan to continue on with my education this fall to finish up a few classes before I begin submitting my application for acceptance into a social work program. There, I will receive my bachelor’s and master’s to become a licensed clinical social worker. This will allow me to become a therapist and specialize in treating eating-disordered individuals and their families.

I have a vision of starting my own non-profit organization someday, writing/publishing a book, continuing to volunteer and raise awareness for eating disorders, self-esteem and body image. I want to take a few missions trips, continue volunteering and giving back to others, and travel while speaking to others about loving themselves from the inside out. I want to continue to encourage, support, and mentor others who are fighting the same struggle I have for so many years. I want to help break the chains that so many of us are trapped in by the negativity of society, messages we heard as kids; or adults. I want to help other s gain freedom and know that they DO NOT have to be a prisoner of their own mind. Life is so wonderful, beautiful, and enjoyable when we release the thing that has been blocking the sunlight in our lives.

Of course someday, I hope to have a wonderful person to share my life with and have a beautiful family.

No matter what, each day I want to continue to build and strengthen relationships, fall more in love with God, walk in faith, have an endless inner love for myself, and have a grateful heart. I never want to lose my vision for the future and all the greatness to come. Imagination and believing are the key to never-ending possibilities!

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For more information about Kaylin, visit her blog at http://kaylinkeepinghope.blogspot.com

Pro-Recovery Facebook group:
“You Are Not Alone. Stand Together. Love Together. Win Together.”

“You Are Worth It” video by Kaylin.

Relationships Replace Eating Disorders

2011-03-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month, I had the pleasure of not only attending, but also presenting at the iaedp’s (International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals) conference in sunny Phoenix, Arizona.

The presentation was all about the power and benefits of adding a recovery mentor to someone’s support team.

During my own recovery, I too had the support of several mentors (at different times in my recovery)—they were an integral part of my treatment team.

Hearing their recovery stories showed me that it was okay to talk about our struggles, and that our lives do not have to continue like this—we don’t have to struggle with our eating disorder forever. There is hope! All this hard work really is worth it and a life without the eating disorder is possible.

The biggest thing I got out of being in touch with others who were already recovered was that if they could get healthy, I COULD TOO!

Wherever you are at in your healing journey, keep working on your recovery. You are NOT a hopeless case. Recovery really is possible, for all of us! The most important thing is to NOT give up. You can do this!

“If we did all the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.”

So true! Remind yourself of this every day.

All the best and take very good care of yourself,

Andrea

PS. Photo description: "The Power of Eating Disorder Mentoring" - together with my wonderful co-presenters Shannon Cutts (from MentorCONNECT), Wendy Oliver-Pyatt (from the Oliver-Pyatt Center in Florida), and Mary-Ellen Clausen (from Ophelia's Place in New York).

Recovery and Eating Disorders: What's Your "Full Time Job"?

2011-01-31T12:28:00.000-08:00

When I started my recovery process from eating disorders, depression and body image issues, I had no idea what to expect…

I only knew that there were a lot of changes ahead for me. I was really scared of the unknown that the recovery process would bring. Yet, my desire to get my life back again was much stronger than my fear of change.

So I made that important decision to “change jobs”. Before, my eating disorder was my full time job. From that point forward, recovery would become my full time job.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
- Thomas Edison

Of course, it wasn't a smooth process, as it isn't for anyone recovering from an eating disorder. Trial and error. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. But at least there was forward movement.

This is where the right support team, tools and resources became so important. They helped me keep my resolve to stay on the road to recovery. I did my best to keep an open mind to everything out there that could help me – an inspirational book, a supporting web site and especially direct contact with people who cared about me.

As for most people, my recovery was a rollercoaster ride. Lots of ups and downs. But with my support structures in place, I made it and you can too.

That's why I encourage anyone struggling with an eating disorder to build that support team asap. It's critical for recovery. It's the theme of all the work I do in this field—you are not alone. Help and support is out there. It just sometimes takes a while till we find the support that’s right for us.

So, if you haven’t already, start creating your personal support team now—people who are by your side to help you through the struggle, hold your hand, comfort you, celebrate your successes and most importantly, believe in you enough to help you break free from the chains of the eating disorder.

Recovery is hard work. But it’s all worth it. Eating disorders really can be overcome. You can learn to love yourself and life again.

A life without the eating disorder really IS possible.

All the best,

Andrea

"Recovery from an eating disorder really IS possible." - Andrea Roe

"I recovered from a ten-year battle with depression and severe body image issues, and a six-year struggle with eating disorders. Now, I'm healthy and recovered, and it's my passion to raise awareness, support others in their recovery, and share my story and what helped me get better. There really is hope - eating disorders can be overcome!"

For more recovery information, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com

Inspiring Woman of the Month: Dena Ashbaugh

2011-01-11T15:34:00.000-08:00

A little while ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Canadian actress and filmmaker Dena Ashbaugh in person at a screening of her documentary “No Numbers: Identity Beyond Measure” in Vancouver, BC. And I’m excited to be able to introduce her story and work to you this month. In the following interview, Dena shares her personal experiences with eating disorders and recovery, how she handles the pressure that comes with working in the film industry (she recently worked on projects with Catherine Zeta Jones and Heather Locklear) and why she decided to share her story publicly and make a documentary about eating disorders.

Thanks so much, Dena, for your time
and for sharing your story with us!

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Tell us a bit about yourself.

I live in beautiful British Columbia, Canada, on the northshore of Vancouver. I’m really big into being outdoors so it’s the best place in the world to live… maybe a little less rain would be good but… I’ll take living here any day. I spend a lot of time running and hiking. My all time favorite activity though is horseback riding. I just got back into dressage and I’m hooked.

When and how did your struggles with body image issues and eating disorders begin?

My struggles with anorexia began when I was twelve. I became extra aware of my body with the onset of puberty. I had always enjoyed my body and felt very much in tune with it until then. I was fast becoming uncomfortable in my own skin and it was the first time I actually began to question why I looked the way I did and took deliberate measures to change it. In a way, I lost faith in my body to do what it already knew how to do. I sought ultimate control and started living up in my head instead of my heart in a world of “shoulds.”

Tell us more about your experiences in the modeling world.

I started modeling because a very popular girl in my school was working as a model in Tokyo. It seemed so exotic and glamorous. I was definitely jealous and people often told me I should model as well. I went after it, signed with an agent at 16 and went to Tokyo at 18.

After 4 years of treatment, I had just come into a very healthy place, emotionally and physically. Then I began modeling and the focus was back on weight. Every time I went into my agent’s office, I had to strip down into a bikini and have my measurements and listen to an earful of criticism. My boobs were too big. My stomach was bloated. My legs looked too chunky. It was torture. At the time I didn’t realize I was still struggling with an eating disorder because I wasn’t in critical condition as I had been at the age of 12. My behavior was justified by the industry demands and normal in my mind. However, I developed bulimia when I was 23 and just breaking into the London market. I was so lost and unhappy. I quit and went back home to Canada and back into therapy.

I, however, did enjoy the opportunity to live in Japan, Korea and Taiwan and met several wonderful people along the way. Not everything was horrible but I definitely would never want my daughter to be subjected to the experiences I went through.

While you worked as a model in Asia and Europe, did you find that eating disorders were a big problem in this industry? Did models talk about it or was it a taboo topic?

When I modeled some girls were naturally very thin but many other girls had to diet to keep their weights low. This was also the same for the men there. An ex-boyfriend I met in Japan ended up suffering from anorexia. Japan is notorious for being very strict about their models’ sizes. Several girls would get sent home for gaining too much weight with the stress of being away from home.

While weight was on the forefront of everyone’s minds, the whole topic of eating disorders was pretty taboo. My agency talking about models who ended up hospitalized as “those type of girls.” Many girls lived with their struggles in silence. Not wanting to be stigmatized. Only years later, when I caught up with some models that I lived with, did I realize the extent they were suffering from disordered eating at the time or were still suffering.

How did you get started in your recovery journey?

The first turning point for me was when a girl on the ward actually died. It was at that point I became more afraid of dying than I was of food. It wasn’t easy but I decided I wanted to live again.

The next major turning point of my recovery happened 25 years later. I started doing yoga and some of the eating disorder thinking began falling away. Then 2 years ago, when I went to a 10 day silent Vipassana meditation retreat, a real shift occurred on a deep level and I've been experiencing more and more freedom since then. I finally feel free of anorexia and experience real joy in my body.

What helped you most in your recovery?

Yes…. Well yoga and meditation. But throughout the years I’d have to say horseback riding was paramount. My parents bought me a horse when the psychiatrist suggested it may help and it most definitely helped me. Acting also was a great gift. When I act I feel tremendous catharsis and a great sense of connection and clarity. Finally I would have to say my family supported me by loving me unconditionally. I put them through a living hell and they stood by me and still do.

What role did your family play in your recovery journey?

Ahhh…. Just answered that. :) Well…. More specifically they drove me 3 times a week from Chilliwack to Vancouver (3 hours round trip) for treatment and fought hard to keep me out of the ward and at home and in school. They understood the necessity of the need for open communication, lots of support and love. They always believed in me and my dreams and did whatever they could to make them happen. I learned how to be a survivor in that kind of environment.

Congratulations on your documentary "No Numbers: Identity Beyond Measure!" Tell us more about it. And was it a difficult step for you to take to publicly share your story - and what made you decide to take this step?

“No Numbers” was a film that was going to be made whether I liked it or not. The universe sort of put it into action and driven by my strong passion to share that recovery is possible I took on the job that was obviously mine to have. I do believe I went through what I did so I could create this film. If this was a film about illness, I wouldn’t be inspired to do it. However, the joy I get from talking about life beyond disordered eating and the immense possibility in living beyond measure is something I can get excited about. The more I share this film the more messages I get from people who are empowered by the film and their own lives change for the better. For instance, we are holding a songwriting contest earlier in December and one woman wrote that just practicing the song she wrote about no numbers for the film every day for 2 weeks got her off the scale. That’s just about the coolest thing ever.

We live in a society where we are made to believe that thinness and beauty brings happiness. What are your thoughts about this?

Our capitalist society is built on the foundation of people being made to feel like they will never measure up. We are sold the idea that you can never be too rich or too thin. We work more, do more, buy more in hopes of reaching impossible ideals. If society focused on what actually did generate happiness for people and recognize true human values then we wouldn’t be driven to work, we wouldn’t be compelled to buy and we wouldn’t have society as we know it.

You're now working as an actress - do you feel pressure to look a certain way and what helps you maintain a healthy body image?

I love acting and I act it for me, whether it’s in class, at an audition or on set. As long as I focus on the love that got me in the business to begin with then I don’t pay attention to the stuff about the industry I don’t like. I just don’t invite that pressure or language into my world. There are lots of people in film that are in it because they love great storytelling. I surround myself with people who share my passion and it seems to work out just fine.

I've also started writing and just got asked to direct. I hope that I can contribute to more diverse stories that value women in all they have to offer.

How do you see your future, what are your goals?

I have big dreams and I’m always exploring how to have those dreams become my reality. I’m now revisiting Deepak Chopra’s “Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” because in all honesty I work too hard and there is a whole lot more I want to do. Make more films, have my own series, travel and travel more, own a horse, have a family and the list goes on. I’m embracing the concept of less effort and trust that my intentions will find their way. I feel this is my next big step in bringing more balance to my life and remembering the very messages of my film.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more information about Dena and her documentary
"No Numbers: Identity Beyond Measure", visit www.nonumbers.ca and http://nonumbersblog.ca

You can also connect with “No Numbers” on Facebook

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Are Invited To The "No Numbers" Screening & Fundraiser

When: Wednesday, February 16th, 2011
Where: The Rio Theatre, 1660 East Broadway, Vancouver, BC Canada
Time: 6:30pm $15/per ticket

Special Guests:
Ryan Robbins (from "Sanctuary")
Patrick Gallagher (from "Glee")

Live Performance by "No Numbers" Songwriting Contest Finalists & Winners!

All proceeds from this event will benefit the BC Looking Glass Foundation.

For more information, visit www.nonumbers.ca or send a message to info (at) nonumbers.ca

It's the Most "Wonderful" Time of the Year... Tips for the Christmas Holidays

2010-12-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

The holiday season is a time full of celebration, joy, happiness... and family dinners. However, for people who struggle with an eating disorder, the holidays can be a difficult time that brings stress, pressure, anxiety and depression.

When I struggled with eating disorders, holidays were always the most difficult time for me. I got nervous whenever a big holiday approached. I was scared of what would happen. I was scared of losing control. I was scared of all the food and what it would do to me.

In my family, holidays meant big family dinners. But not just one family dinner - we had a couple of family dinners with different parts of the family. I felt uncomfortable eating in front of people. Even though none of my relatives knew about my eating disorder, I felt like as if they were watching and maybe even judging me.

Sometimes my relatives would tell me what to eat and say “You have to try a piece of this and try that one too!” And if I said “no, thanks”, they would ask again and maybe make comments like “one piece doesn’t hurt” or “you are young, you don’t have to worry about your weight.” Oftentimes, it was hard for me to stay strong and stick with my “no, thank you.”

Sometimes I even pretended I was sick so I would not have to join the dinner table or go to someone’s house for dinner. I felt bad for doing this but I knew I would feel even worse if my eating habits got out of control.

And sometimes I made it through the holiday dinners fine enough without any major slips or setbacks – and was proud of myself for that accomplishment!

Now I am recovered (yes, full recovery is possible!), and I enjoy the holiday season and look forward to it – yes, that’s right, it is possible to learn to look forward to this time of the year again and just to have fun. I no longer get stressed out during the holidays and do not experience anxiety about the meals.

And in case you are experiencing increased anxiety around this time of the year, I want you to know that your life does not have to continue like that. You can learn to love yourself and your life again. You can learn to be friends with food again and actually enjoy it.

Please don’t give up on yourself and keep on fighting. Recovery is ALWAYS worth it! And one day, you will be able to think of holidays as a time to gather with loved ones, you can make your own special memories, and you may even be able to start looking forward to them.

Please know that you are NOT alone. If you need extra support, reach out to your support team. Or participate in an online pro-recovery community like MentorCONNECT (www.mentorconnect-ed.org) or BulimiaHelp (www.bulimahelp.org)– where you can connect with others who are going through the same challenges as you are.

Being in touch with others who were also in recovery or already recovered was a huge part of my own healing journey. They really understood me and knew what it was like. And I got so much out of their sharing that helped me move forward in my own recovery.

Underneath you’ll find some tips and exercises that I collected over the years to help you make the best out of the holiday season. And in case you have a tip that is not covered in the list and want to share it with me, feel free to get in touch with me.

I wish you a wonderful Holiday Season and hope you take some time for yourself to do something nice for yourself. You deserve to be loved and treated well—especially by yourself!

Andrea

Here are a few tips to help you cope with stress and food so you can make the most out of this festive season:

Plan time for yourself. It is very important to take special care of yourself during the holidays.
Make a list of things you can do to help you relax and distract yourself from the eating disorder thoughts and behaviours (i.e. take a relaxing hot bath with aroma oils and candles, go for a nice walk in the park, call or visit a supportive friend, read your favourite book, watch a comedy, write your diary, paint your feelings, etc.)
Avoid focusing too much on food; it only fuels your eating disorder. Focus on aspects of life unrelated to food and weight! Take a break from the repetitive messages about body image on television or in magazines. Do something you would not normally do - go for a hike, volunteer for charity work, or visit with friends. The holidays are a time for reflection and celebration, so make sure you take time to do both with the people you care about.
Try to eat in some kind of regular pattern. Avoid "preparing for the last supper." Don’t skip meals and starve in attempt to make up for what you recently ate or are about to eat.
If you can, let yourself enjoy a few "special occasion foods."
Make sure that there is food available that you feel comfortable eating. If you are invited, offer to bring a dish so that you are sure there will be food available for you.
Do your best not to count calories and try to avoid the scale.
Wear clothes that fit and that you feel comfortable in. And don't look in every mirror you see.
If you feel yourself starting to panic because you are feeling too full or if you allowedyourself to eat foods that you consider to be forbidden, remind yourself it is okay to eat what you did, that food will not make you fat, and it is only normal to eat more during the holidays. Most people do and it really is okay.
If you have a period where you end up using behaviors to cope, do not beat yourself up over it. Just put it behind you and move forward.
If you have to be at an event with certain people who make you uncomfortable, plan ways to excuse yourself from their immediate presence to avoid spending time with them. Prepare responses to make to people who may say something to you that would make you uncomfortable.
If you feel you need to, set some boundaries for yourself by telling people ahead of time that you do not want anyone to comment on your appearance or your eating.
Choose to stay away from certain events when you know there are people there who upset you and are uncomfortable being around. People might want you to go but you have to take care of yourself.
Please do what is right for you during the holidays. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into eating more than you can handle. You are not eating for them, you are eating for yourself. If being with certain family members or going home for the holidays is too stressful, you may have to seriously think about not going. Do not be afraid to disappoint people by not showing up and if you can, be honest about why you will not be attending.
Holidays are a very stressful time for people with eating disorders and it really is important that you do whatever you need to do in order to make them easier on yourself.
Get enough sleep! Shortage of sleep can create an unhealthy imbalance in your body, which will interfere with your ability to handle the holiday stress positively.
Remember that the "ideal" and “picture perfect harmony” holiday is not real for many people. Some people can't afford it. Many single people aren't close to their families or don't have a family. Many families don't look like and act like the "picture book" family. You still might feel the pressure to have an "ideal" family. Don't blame yourself for problems in your family. People are the same at holidays and every other time of the year.

I also encourage you to create a personal recovery journal and a coping catalogue…

Personal Recovery Book/Gratitude Journal: Write down inspirational statements, your goals for the future, what you will do when you are free from your eating disorder, things you are grateful for, your achievements, things you are proud of, things or moments that make you happy and activities you enjoy doing – everything and anything that can support you while you work at freeing yourself from your eating disorder. And have a look at this book as often as possible, and especially when you are feeling down.

Coping Catalogue: Come up with a list of things to do when you feel trapped by your eating disorder and are ready to binge, purge, or skip a meal. As well, include a few inspirational statements on the same piece of paper or little book. Then carry this list wherever you go and refer to it often – to remind yourself that you are beautiful and to give yourself a distraction to overcome the temptation to give in.

Inspiring Woman of the Month: Andrea Owen

2010-11-30T09:47:00.000-08:00

This month, I have the pleasure of introducing you to Andrea Owen—body image warrior and life coach—who’ll share her personal experiences with EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified), body image issues and low self esteem, and what helped her overcome her unhealthy obsessions and start living a “kick-ass” life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1) Tell us a bit about yourself.

I'm 35 years old and a native of San Diego, California. I'm married to my wonderful and easy-going husband, Jason and we have 2 children together, Colton is 3 and Sydney is 1. Life is blessed and chaotic :)

2) Tell us about your own experiences with eating disorders, negative body image and low self esteem.

I'm not one who you would think would have low self esteem and poor body image. My parents adored me, I grew up well, very happy and loved. My mother never talked badly about her own body, and both of my parents were active and exercised in a healthy manner. Looking back, I see the problem stemmed from never being taught to love myself. Sounds simple enough, but I was always so adored by others, when I grew up and entered adult relationships, when love wasn't reciprocated, I was devastated. I esteemed myself through the eyes of whatever boyfriend I had at the time. I was also heavily influenced by the media. In my mind it was simple: Be skinny, pretty and perfect and you will find love, love, love. And that's all I ever wanted. Isn't that what we all want?

I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder by a doctor, but definitely suffered from EDNOS. It was a roller-coaster. Whenever I was in crisis, I would cope by starving myself, abusing exercise and sometimes bingeing and purging. I would stop myself from the symptoms in order to convince myself (or other people) I wasn't sick. I would abstain from symptoms for a couple years, although all the while having terrible self-esteem and body image, then something would fall apart in my life and I would fall back. This went on for about 10 years.

I went through a sudden and traumatic divorce when I was 30. I plummeted into my eating disorder for almost a year. Then one day I got sick and tired of my life. I knew I was better than that. I knew something out there was better for me, BUT I also knew I had to love myself, believe in myself and stop thinking the answer to all my prayers was in a relationship. I had tried that for 15 years of being in a relationship, with a few different men and realized that looking to them to esteem me wasn't working. My soul, my intuition had been calling me for years, and I wasn't listening. I didn't have the courage to listen until then. So, one day I literally got out a piece of paper and drew what I wanted. And wrote all the things I was grateful for in my life. I also decided then and there to choose to like myself. I started there. It was as if I opened the door for my true self who had been patiently waiting my whole life.

3) You are a positive body image warrior and passionate about spreading the message that real women come in all shapes and sizes. How did you get started with your work and what motivates and inspires you to keep working so hard on empowering women and girls and raising eating disorder awareness.

I got started by realizing how ridiculous our culture is in its quest for perfection. Being in the fitness industry, I saw many people working so hard on their physical body, day in and day out, but not giving a crap about their true essence. I'm passionate about fitness and having a healthy body, but happiness and fulfillment is holistic. It encompasses much more than how much you can bench press and if you have six-pack abs.

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty spoke to me. I hosted many free workshops for little girls and knew it was a calling of mine. When I got into life coaching, I knew my niche would be women's self-esteem and body image issues. Sadly, I believe that nearly all women have at least at some point in their life have had some kind of dysfunctional relationship with food, their body and/or exercise. What inspires me is seeing these women make changes and what inspires me even more is the ripple effect. I want the next generation to have a different view of what beauty is.

I'm also very inspired by all my colleagues who work tirelessly to change the world.

What are your favourite positive body image tips?

I think exercise is important. But, not the exercise a person thinks they "should" do, or what so-and-so celebrity does. I encourage my clients to do what they want to do, what their body craves, as long as they are moving their body. When the body is in motion, it's happy. When the body is listened to, it's happy. In other words, if it needs rest, give it that you're weak, or haven't made any rest. If it needs calories and water, give it that. The better you take care of your body, your mind will follow suit.

If someone has a negative body image, I encourage them to look at their body as if it were separate from them. For instance, if it were their best friend, would they treat it or talk about it as they are doing? I doubt anyone would.

When you're taking the steps to improve your body image, setbacks are normal! I still get triggered and have bad days. Reaching out for support as well as looking at setbacks as just that: a setback. It doesn't mean progress. Choose to look at it as learning. And completely normal!

Tell us about your latest project "Your Kick Ass Life."

My blog is moving to a website for my coaching business. Originally I was going to keep the name, "Live Your Ideal Life", but it didn't quite match my personality. I've always said, "Life's too short for it to not kick-ass!" and so I decided to go with it. I truly believe everyone should have a kick-ass life and that it looks different from person to person. I'll continue to blog, and I wrote a free mini e-book which you can get from my website by signing up for my newsletter. It's "21 Tips and Tools for Healthier Self-Esteem. No Bullsh*t Included." I'll have free stuff on the site as well, including worksheets for self esteem and body image, all coming soon.

How do you see your future, what are your goals?

I love this question! I plan to write a book, the topic is still undecided so it's currently a secret ;) I plan to create workshops, retreats, tele-series, e-books/workbooks all in the name of creating a fire in women.

Women are our future. We are raising, influencing and being role models to the next generation and we have a body image and self-esteem crisis on our hands. If I can help change that, I will be happy beyond words.

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For more information about Andrea and her work visit http://yourkickasslife.com
You can also connect with her on Twitter and on Facebook.

Will I Ever Be Able to Overcome ED?

2010-11-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to overcome my eating disorder…”

Sound familiar? We all go through phases like this were we ask ourselves this question—whether recovery from an eating disorder is really possible for us or whether we have to learn to live like this forever.

I used to ask myself this question many times during my own recovery from eating disorders, depression and severe body image issues. Many nights I cried myself to sleep wondering if I was ever able to be free from all these struggles. Or whether that was just how the rest of my life was going to look like. But I didn’t want the rest of my like to look that this. I didn’t want to live with these struggles forever. I wanted to be free.

My recovery journey was filled with ups and downs. I had setbacks. I had a lot. And I had to learn that whenever I fell, to get myself back up again as fast as I could. And I also had to learn to be kind and patient instead of beating myself up for “failing once again.” Unfortunately, I was very good at this negative self-talk – so much time and effort got wasted on pointing out what was “wrong” with me instead of focusing on and embracing what I was good at; what I had already achieved. And I say that I “used to be” very good at negative self talk because I’m not anymore!

During my recovery process, I learned to pay more and more attention to my own voice (not the toxic eating disorder voice) that loved and cared about me and had dreams and goals. It was difficult in the beginning to even hear my own voice because the eating disorder voice was so dominant - after hearing it for so many years, I had mistaken it as my own. I forgot that I had a voice as well.

I had to learn to disagree with and eventually disobey the eating disorder voice. And I learned to slowly listen for and eventually to my own voice. To learn to trust myself again. In the beginning, my own voice was very small - it took quite some time till I found it. And whenever I heard it, I did my best to embrace it, and slowly gave it room to grow…. Until one day my own voice had grown so strong that there was no more room for the eating disorder voice… it faded away.

Yes, it really is possible for the eating disorder voice to go away. I haven’t heard it in years and know it won’t come back.

And there were also times during my recovery were I felt too weak to get back up again by myself. I didn’t want to “try one more time” because I “knew” I’d just fail again anyways. I just wanted to be left alone. And that is where my support team was especially important. They did not give up on me, no matter what. And I believe that if it was not for them, I would not be were I am today.

If you don’t have a proper support team in your life yet, I encourage you to reach out and create one for yourself. It’s not about quantity, but quality. Find out what works for you and make room for it in your life. What works for one person, may not work for the next.

Another very important tool in my recovery was communication with others who were also in recovery or already recovered. What I got of these conversations was that I was really NOT alone. I felt understood—they really knew what I was going through and their support and encouragement made a big difference in my recovery.

Keep these things in mind and then keep going. It won't always be easy but a life free from an eating disorder is very well worth it.

All the best and take very good care of yourself,

Andrea

"Recovery from an eating disorder really IS possible."

I recovered from an almost ten-year battle with depression and severe body image issues and a six-year struggle with eating disorders - today I am recovered and now it's my passion to raise awareness, support others, and share my story and what helped me get healthy. There is hope - eating disorders can be overcome!

For more information, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com

What Helped Me Recover (teleconference)

2010-10-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

There was no one “magic thing” that made my eating disorder go away. For me, it was an effort of a lot of little things. It was one day at a time. One step at a time.

One step at a time seemed too slow some days but all these small steps added up to a HUGE difference. RECOVERED.

Now there are no more eating disorder thoughts or negative voices in my head beating me up or telling me what to do and what not to do - no more body hatred. In fact, the opposite is true: I love food now. I love cooking and I’m excited about trying out new dishes.

I used to look in the mirror and hate everything I saw. Flaws, only flaws—that’s how I saw myself. Today, I look in the mirror and I see me—I see a person. And I like what I see.

If I can do it, so can you. Recovery really IS possible.

Mark your calendar… On Wednesday, October 13^th, MentorCONNECT is hosting a teleconference and they invited me to be their guest speaker – yay! During this teleconference, I’ll talk in more detail about my recovery journey, especially what helped me move forward and eventually achieve being recovered.

For more information about the teleconference visit http://mentorconnectandrea.eventbrite.com/. And in case you miss it, you can listen to the recording here (which will be put online after the call): http://www.mentorconnect-ed.org/teleseries/ (you’ll have to scroll down a bit)

I wish you all the best and take very good care of yourself!

Andrea

"Brave Girl Eating - One Family's Struggle with Anorexia" - interview with author Harriet Brown

2010-10-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

This month, I have the pleasure of introducing you to Harriet Brown - a mother whose older daughter Kitty became anorexic and nearly died. In the following interview, Harriet talks about her family's initial discovery of her daughter's anorexia, how they helped Kitty recover and how other parents can help their children recover as well.

"Thank you, Harriet, for your time and for sharing!"

1) Tell us a bit about yourself.

I'm an assistant professor of magazine journalism at the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University, and live in Syracuse, NY, with my family. I have been an editor and writer for more than 30 years, writing for the New York Times, Health, O: The Oprah Magazine, Glamour, Vogue, and many other magazines and newspapers. I'm also co-founder of Maudsley Parents, and creator of Project BodyTalk (www.projectbodytalk.com) — a website that features (and collects) audio commentaries on body image, eating, and related issues from anyone who cares to contribute.

2) Your older daughter Kitty suffered from anorexia. How did you, your husband and your younger daughter help her recover?

Kitty was 14 when she was diagnosed with anorexia. We honestly didn't know much about eating disorders at the time; I thought you had to drop a lot of weight to have anorexia. I didn't realize that some people, like Kitty, simply fail to gain weight when they should, falling further and further behind the curve. I also didn't recognize one of the major symptoms of an eating disorder, which is increased anxiety and obsessionality. That's what we saw first with Kitty. She was anxious, obsessed, and worried; she thought she might have OCD at one point. It didn't seem particularly food-related at first. But we also didn't realize how little she was eating, because like many people who have this illness, she was very adept at hiding it from us for a while. She was on a gymnastics team that practiced every night, so she ate—often alone—before practice. We didn't realize how little she was eating. Often she told us she had a stomachache, she'd eaten at a friend's house, she wasn't hungry—these are all warning signs that something's not right in the eating department.

I knew she had anorexia before the actual diagnosis. She dropped some weight, and suddenly she went from looking thin to looking way too thin. Things unraveled pretty fast after that. She landed in the hospital for dehydration and bradycardia, and the ICU doctor wanted to tube her. That was a terrifying low point for all of us.

My husband and I flailed around for about a month, trying unsuccessfully and with increasing anxiety to get Kitty to eat. As a journalist, I was doing a lot of research. I stumbled on the notion of family-based treatment and we decided immediately to try it. That’s when we started to make progress.

3) Tell us more about the family-based treatment of anorexia: the Maudsley approach.

FBT (Family Based Treatment), or the Maudsley approach (www.maudsleyparents.org), was developed in London at the Maudsley Hospital (hence the nickname) in the 1980s, by several therapists there, including Ivan Eisler and Christopher Dare. Eisler and Dare observed that patients in the hospital were able to eat when nurses supported them through meals—sitting with them, encouraging them, rubbing their backs, etc. Once patients went home, they usually backslid. They took some of the work Salvador Minuchin did on family therapy and applied it to treating adolescent eating disorders outpatient. That is, they hypothesized that families could play the same role with their teens at home as nurses did in the hospital. The method turned out to be much more effective than any other treatment, and it still is; the most recent study found that 90% of adolescents treated with FBT recovered fully or made very good progress. Those results hold true five years later, too.

There are 3 phases to FBT.

- Phase 1 is weight restoration—typically the most challenging part, because parents must find ways to get a teen with anorexia to eat, and eat a lot, to reverse malnutrition and foster recovery.

- Phase 2 is a gradual return of control over eating to the teen. This comes after the teen is fully weight restored and has been for a time, and happens slowly, with lots of oversight by the parents.

- Phase 3 is resumption of normal adolescent development, and I think what's meant here is that eating disorders take over a teen's life, and so normal development doesn't happen in other areas--social and emotional, mainly. Phase 3 is when normal life resumes.

The method is considered controversial by some, but it's becoming more and more mainstream. If you know anything about eating disorders research, you know there's precious little research that's been done, and most treatments do not prove successful when looked at closely. FBT is the rock star of treatments for teens and young adults. It works for far more families than not.

4) What advice do you have for parents whose child is struggling with an eating disorder?

Four things:

1. Full recovery is possible. Many professionals will tell you that once you have an eating disorder, you’ll always have it. That it’s like alcoholism, something you can learn to manage, something you’ll “be in recovery from” for the rest of your life. The evidence suggests that full recovery is absolutely possible, especially for teens. Don’t settle for anything less.

2. You have more power than you realize. I get emails and phone calls from many parents who say that FBT would never work for their family because their child is too stubborn, too oppositional, too defiant. FBT doesn’t work for every family, it’s true. But the studies done on it so far show that it works in about 90% of families. That’s the vast majority. I think families often count themselves out, in a way; they think they can’t do it, and then they can’t. The most important piece of helping a child recover using FBT is believing that it will work. Because it usually does.

3. Faster is better. Studies show that time is of the essence; the less time a child or teen spends being acutely ill, the better her chance for full recovery. There’s absolutely nothing to be gained by waiting and seeing. You’d never hear an oncologist suggest that a Stage 1 tumor be “watched” rather than treated, yet doctors say that about eating disorders all the time.

4. You don’t have to do this alone. In fact, you shouldn’t—it’s way too hard and stressful. When our daughter got sick, there were very few therapists trained in FBT. Thanks to Drs. Daniel le Grange and James Lock, who started a training institute to certify FBT providers, the numbers of therapists who are trained in this method are growing. Many families don’t want to tell anyone what they’re going through; they feel ashamed, responsible, embarrassed. But secrecy and isolation make recovery that much harder. So look for support. Several other moms and I started a website of resources for parents, Maudsley Parents (www.maudsleyparents.org) which offers information on treatment, recipes, stories about how other families have managed, and links to a lot of useful information.

5) Tell us about your book "Brave Girl Eating - One Family's Struggle with Anorexia."

I wrote the book partly as catharsis for myself—that's what writers do, after all. But my deepest hope is that this book will reach other families and help them. When my daughter was diagnosed and I turned to the doctor, she had few answers. It terrified me that there really was no good way to treat my daughter's mortal illness. My doctor had never heard of FBT. So I hope the book will show parents that there is another way. And I really hope that professionals who read it—whether they're pediatricians, psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, or internists—will now be able to offer their patients hope and another way to combat this illness.

For more information about Harriet Brown and her work, visit www.harrietbrown.com and her blog “Feed Me – Talking about Food, Eating, Body Image, and Weight” at http://harrietbrown.blogspot.com You can also connect with Harriet on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.

Mentoring & Recovery: "If they can recover, I CAN TOO!"

2010-09-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

Words of Mentoring Wisdom: An Interview with Andrea Roe
By Shannon Cutts
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mentoring-recovery/

Survivor, author, and mentor Andrea Roe was kind enough to stop by “Mentoring and Recovery” to share her insights about the power of mentoring from both the mentee’s and the mentor’s point of view.

Andrea is the author of the great two-volume series "You Are Not Alone: the book of companionship for women with eating disorders" and the editor of the monthly Support Letter e-newsletter.

Andrea is also a long-time valued board member with MentorCONNECT, a pending 501(c)3 non-profit organization that is dedicated to promoting no-fee access to mentoring for any individual who is personally affected by an eating disorder.

Andrea’s own recovery journey has been a rich adventure in seeking and finding nurturing, empowering, encouraging pro-recovery mentoring relationships. Thank you so much Andrea for sharing your experiences with us!

1. You have mentioned that online recovery communities and mentoring were important in your own recovery from anorexia and bulimia because of all the support you found there. Tell us about your own experiences.

Being in touch with others who were also in recovery or already recovered was an essential part of my own recovery. It made me feel understood, less alone and gave me hope that all this hard work was really worth it. I really got that if they could overcome their struggles, I COULD TOO!

I visited and tried several online communities and groups before I found the ones that worked best for me — Something Fishy and Pale Reflections. I was thrilled to find out that not only people who were new to recovery, or already well on their way in recovery, but also people who were fully recovered, were part of these communities.

In the beginning, I was too shy to post anything and just read other people’s messages. I got a lot out of them. Eventually, I felt strong enough and started posting myself. And I was just thrilled when people replied to my posts. Wow, that was an amazing feeling! They took the time to not only read my messages, but also supported and encouraged me to keep fighting. That was HUGE for me!

Over time, I connected one on one with some of the people whose posts I was able to relate to the most and whose words touched me, gave me hope and inspired me to keep working on my recovery. I especially loved being in touch with people who were already recovered—they were my heroes. And I was so grateful that they not only listened to me, but also shared details of their recovery and what helped them get better. The mentoring process began from there, which made a big difference in my recovery.

In fact, I’m still in touch with some of these wonderful people today. A few have even contributed their recovery stories to one of my books.

Because I got so much out of hearing and reading other people’s recovery stories and what helped them get better, now that I’m fully recovered, I’m passionate about giving back—sharing my story, supporting others in their healing journey and letting them know that eating disorders can be overcome.

2. You are now serving as a mentor yourself in many ways. What do you love about mentoring?

To share what I have learned over the years gives my struggles a purpose. Because of what I went through and everything I experienced, I can now support others in taking their lives back. It’s very rewarding.

3. As a mentor, what is the most important message you want your mentees to remember?

No matter how hard the journey may be, never ever give up! Recovery really is possible!

4. What advice would you give to someone who is searching for a mentor to help them through their recovery?

Know that a mentor is not a substitute for professional help. But having a mentor certainly can be a wonderful addition to your personal support team.

Don’t be shy to ask for help and don’t take a “no” personally. It’s important to keep reaching out and eventually you’ll find the person that’s right for you.

Also, don’t be discouraged if you don’t find a mentor that fits your needs right away—sometimes it takes longer to find the person who can best support you and who can provide what you’re looking for.

There’s a great quote I want to share with you from Johanna Kandel, who also recovered from an eating disorder:

“There is someone—even if you aren’t aware of it right now—who will be so honored to walk next to you on your journey. All I am asking is that you be willing to ask for help.”

5. What advice would you give to someone who is interested in serving as a mentor to others?

Before you start a mentoring relationship, be clear about your style of communication, ask your mentee what (s)he wants to get out of the relationship, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Open and honest communication is important.

If you are interested in helping others through mentoring, consider joining a pro-recovery community like MentorCONNECT—which provides a wonderful opportunity to serve as a recovery mentor and also provides mentor training and support.

6) Anything else you’d like to share?

I’ve seen first hand the difference mentoring can make in a person’s recovery. It’s exceptionally beneficial for the mentee of course, but I have had the pleasure of working with others that had an eating disorder, started on the road to recovery, then became a mentor to another person just starting out. The value the mentor gets for this work is often nothing short of amazing.

Relationships really do replace eating disorders!

"But I'm Scared..." - Recovery and the Fear of Change

2010-08-31T13:00:00.000-07:00

When we live with the eating disorder for a while, we forget what life was like without it. Even though the eating disorder causes us so much physical and emotional pain, we get used to it. As strange as it sounds, it becomes our new “normal.”

Getting healthy again can be scary because now it's the “unknown.” We don't know what recovery is about or what to expect. That fear of change together with the eating disorder keep us slaves.

That's when it is vital to remember that the change recovery brings – even though sometimes it may not seem like it at first – is a positive one. Rather than something to be feared, it is something to be embraced as our journey to recovery.

“Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.”
~Author Unknown

Fears… we all have them and we allow them to control us and our lives to some degree or another. Most of life’s regrets are because fear held us back.

But in truth, fear is nothing more than your mind playing tricks on you. It is a defense mechanism to protect you from things like wild animals or falling from high places. Being naturally afraid of such things helps keep us alive.

But a fear of recovery does not help us. It hinders us. Once you really, really understand this principle, the fear will start to melt away. As your recovery moves forward, you will realize that hey, all the changes are not so bad after all. And eventually, you will reach a point where you can say, “There's nothing to be afraid of.”

“Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them... they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.

~Orison Swett Marden

Now for the first step: Challenge those fears by committing to yourself that you WILL take control of your recovery. And, like a flower in the spring sun's gentle rays, watch your life softly open up into full bloom.

Yes, recovery really IS possible!

Andrea

The Definition of Insanity

2010-07-21T21:31:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I heard a very interesting definition of insanity that I'd like to share with you today. “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

This idea translates to virtually every area of our lives—whether it be work, school, relationships and even an eating disorder. The basic message is pretty clear—if you want things to change in your life (whatever that may be), you have to change what you are doing (thinking, etc). Many people do the exact opposite. They continue in their “rut” and expect different results.

I did that myself for many years as well. I wanted to get rid of my eating disorder and be happy and healthy again, yet I kept on doing what I was always did - participating in my eating disorder behaviours. I didn’t change anything yet wondered why my eating disorder just wouldn’t go away and why I was still in so much pain.

There were several reasons why I didn’t change anything (yet expected different results)…. I was ashamed of my “dark secret” and too scared to speak out and ask for help. I didn’t actually know what the recovery process looked like and what one has to do in order to recover…. and without any tools and no support, I didn’t know where to start or what to do to get better. So I kept doing what I was doing, yet hoping for different results.

“If you always do what you’ve done,
you will always get what you’ve always got."

Eventually I got that “wanting” is simply not enough. Something had to change in order for me to be able to move forward. Action has to be taken in order for change and results to be achieved.

I remember the day when I took real action towards recovery for the very first time—which for me meant reaching out and telling someone about my struggles. It was very difficult, but it had to be done. It was crucial.

The act of actually talking about it started to change things. For the first time, I felt that I wasn't alone; that there was someone there to help me through this disorder. One simple act dispelled my personal "insanity" forever.

After that change in behavior—from being withdrawn and secretive to starting to open up—that's what started me on my path to recovery.

My recovery process was all about “baby steps.”

I always hated when someone told me that recovery means taking baby steps. I didn't want to take baby steps. I wanted to take big huge steps and be done with my eating disorder and get on with my life. But unfortunately, this is not how it works... We have to learn to be patient, we have to learn to be kind to ourselves. And these are all important lessons that recovery teaches us.

Recovery is a process. It takes time. And there is no rule for how long it takes for someone to recover. We all have different stories to tell, different reasons why we developed our eating disorders, and we are all at different points in our lives.

I encourage you to look at yourself and your life the same way. Ask yourself the question: Am I trying to get better but am unwilling to change to do so? Am I unwilling to do what is necessary and needed to do in order to reach my goals? If so, realize that you will need to modify your pattern if you hope to recover. Recovery from an eating disorder (ED) really does exist! And all the hard work, it really is worth it! Whatever happens, don’t give up. ED’s chains can be broken and you can take your life back.

Stay strong and take good care of yourself,

Andrea

A Valuable Lesson

2010-06-09T20:45:00.000-07:00

I'd like to share with you something that I came across about a year ago and was reminded of again today. It's something that touched me and I hope it does the same for you...

A motivational speaker liked to begin his presentation by holding up a $20 bill and asking, “Who in this room would like this crisp, new $20 bill?”

Of course, every hand in the room would shoot up. Then the speaker would crumple the bill, throw it on the floor, and step on it. Then he would ask, “Now who still wants it?”

All the hands would naturally stay raised.

Then the speaker would smile and say, “Think about this: Nothing I did to this money made it decrease in value. It was still worth $20 after I stepped on it. There’s a valuable lesson here. “

“Often in our lives, we are crumpled up, dropped and stepped on, both by the decisions we make and by what happens to us. You may feel worthless. But remember, no matter what happens to you, you will never lose your value. Our worth doesn’t come from what we look like or what happened to us, but from WHO WE ARE. You’re all special—you all have value. Don’t EVER forget that.“

Take good care of yourself,

Andrea

Reaching Your Recovery Goals

2010-05-29T17:12:00.001-07:00

Many people have heard of the Harvard goal study conducted in the mid-20th century. As the story goes, they tracked a year of graduates for a couple of decades and found that the 3% of those who followed a process of writing down goals on a regular basis ended up wealthier than the other 97% combined!

It's meant to show the power goals have in helping people make money.

But goals are good for a lot more than just making money. They are an integral part of recovering from an eating disorder as well.

"If you want to reach a goal,
you must see the reaching in your own mind
before you actually arrive at your goal."

~ Zig Ziglar

Of course, before you can ever write it down, you need to “see” where you are headed; what life will be like when you are free from ED once and for all. Take a moment and answer these questions:

• What would it be like to not think about food as anything other than a way to feed my body and help make and keep it strong and healthy?
• How would it feel to wake up every morning and not think anything negative about food or my body?
• What wonderful things could I invite into my life without ED holding me back?

Then, once you have a really clear picture of what that world would look like for you, work your way backwards:

1) What do I need to do—what resources, what new knowledge do I need to acquire in order to accomplish these goals?
2) Most importantly, what are the new skills I need to develop in order to accomplish my goals?
3) Who do I have to become in order to accomplish these new goals?

“Move out of your comfort zone.
You can only grow if you are willing to feel
awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”

~ Brian Tracy

Once you've answered these questions, now is the time to take the first step. Something tiny. It could be something as researching an activity that you can go to whenever you feel tempted to give into ED. Or something as joining a pro-recovery community like MentorConnect (www.mentorconnect-ed.org) or BulimiaHelp (www.bulimiahelp.org). There are a lot of things you can do. The important thing is to take some action once.

Then, another step the next day. And another simple one the day after. And so on. Over time you will create momentum that will virtually carry you on the road to recovery.

Now, will it be uncomfortable at first? Probably. But you just have to ask yourself: Is some short term discomfort worse than a lifetime of suffering?

If the answer is, “Absolutely!”, then commit to starting with that small step.

It's the starting that is the most challenging. Once you do, life will start to change in turn.

Stay strong and keep working on your recovery – it’s worth it!

Andrea

"Recovery really IS possible!"

Top 3 Eating Disorder Recovery Tips

2010-05-25T12:12:00.000-07:00

A reporter, doing a story on eating disorders, recently asked me about my three best tips related to eating disorder recovery. And I'd like to share my answer with you today.

1) Your Personal Support Team:

I could not have recovered without the help and support from others. I was close to giving up the fight many times, and my support team was there for me and believed in me, no matter what. And whenever I fell, they helped me get back up again to continue on with my recovery and healing journey. And they also celebrated my successes with me and reminded me of my successes when I was only concentrating on my failures and what was wrong with me.

In case you haven't already, I encourage you to set up your personal support team. And it's not about quantity, but quality. Whatever works best for you. There are many recovery support resources available, it’s about finding what works best for you and going after that. Who can be part of your support network? Here are a few ideas… family, friends, spouse, therapist, psychologist, support group, doctor, treatment center, mentor, others who are recovered or in recovery, and more.

You deserve to get help. You deserve to get healthy and live a fulfilled life—without the eating disorder.

2) The Power of Sharing and Letting Go of Secrets:

Speaking about how I was doing and what I was going through helped me so much during my recovery. When I talked about it, I didn't have to do it anymore. Speaking about my eating disorder was liberating. Our secrets—no matter what they are—keep us sick. It's when we open up that we are able to start the real healing process.

3) You are NOT your eating disorder.

For the longest time, it felt like I was my eating disorder and my eating disorder was me. It felt like “it” was my identity. I didn’t know who I was without it. I had forgotten. During my recovery, I had to learn to separate these two voices—mine and the eating disorder voice. And when it was the eating disorder talking, I had to learn to fight back, talk back and disobey its commands. I had to learn to take control back over my life— after all, it was MY life, not the eating disorders'. And whenever you hear the voice in your head telling you that you aren't good enough, need to lose weight, punish yourself… ask yourself if that is the "real you" that is talking, or if it is your eating disorder that is speaking to you.

What is your best recovery tip? Feel free to share it with me.

All the best and stay strong--all the hard work is really worth it!

Recovery IS possible!

Andrea

Stay Focused to Get Healthy

2010-04-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

During the recovery process, it’s important to stay focused on what is important to us— a life without ED (the eating disorder); the freedom to do what we want with our life without that cloud constantly around us. That's what we are fighting for.

But, it’s so easy to get distracted… by the eating disorder voice, every-day life, stress at work or school, or because “life just happens”…. At that point, it's important to remind ourselves on a regular basis why we do what we do. Reminding ourselves helps us stay focused.

Here are a few things that can help you stay focused on your recovery goals…

• Recovery Collage: Collect photos of yourself or ones from newspapers and either write words or cut them from magazines. Paste all of it together on a 4x3 piece of card stock. Use what you have put together to create something that inspires you to keep moving ahead. Put it somewhere where you can see it on a regular basis. Like on the wall opposite of your desk, so whenever you look up, you can see it and automatically get reminded of it. Or, you can attach it to the wall next to your bed, so you can see it first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

• Gratitude/Recovery Journal: Write down what motivates and inspires you, what you are grateful for, your goals and what you want to achieve in life, as well as what you have achieved - like when you didn’t binge or ate something without feeling guilty, or when you put back the laxatives in the store, etc. Working on this journal is healing. And when you have a tough time, take the journal out and read it – it will be a source of support and comfort.

• Recovery Jewelry: Make a bracelet or necklace yourself (or buy one) that symbolizes recovery to you… That way, when you wear or hold the jewelry, you are reminded of your commitment to healthiness once more.

• Sticky Notes: Get a pad of sticky notes (not just the boring yellow ones , but also fun ones like heart shaped, available at many office supply stores). Write quick positive notes on it, and then spread them around your room (inside drawers and cupboards, inside the kitchen cabinets, inside your wallet) and you’ll be reminded on a daily basis.

Focus on these activities and your recovery and each day will bring you closer to a life free of ED.

All the best and stay strong—all the hard work is really worth it!

Andrea

NEDA Walk: Raising Awareness & Spreading the Message that Recovery IS Possible!

2010-04-19T15:26:00.000-07:00

Yay, it's confirmed! I'll be participating in the NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) walk in Seattle, WA, on May 22nd, 2010. And I'm so much looking forward to it already! :-)

What is a NEDA walk? The NEDA Walk, which kicked off as the first annual NEDA Walk during NEDAwareness Week 2009, is a walk-a-thon fundraiser supporting NEDA and a community awareness-raising event. Individuals from across the country will be coordinating a NEDA Walk in their community in recognition of NEDAwareness Week throughout the year. The NEDA Walk is a non-competitive community event. Registrants can participate in whatever capacity they feel is appropriate for them.

Want to join my team or help me support the cause, visit http://neda.nationaleatingdisorders.org/goto/youarenotalone - Every single voice counts. And every single dollar counts and MAKES A DIFFERENCE! Recovery IS possible and eating disorders can be beaten!

For more information about the NEDA walks & to find out if there is a walk in your community, visit http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/programs-events/nedawareness-week-walk.php

Together we are making a difference!

Making the Best out of the Easter Holidays

2010-03-31T12:51:00.000-07:00

I don’t remember anymore when exactly my anorexia started. I can’t remember a date. I just slipped into it. It was a slow process… so slow that I didn’t even notice it at first.

I do – on the other hand – very well remember when my bulimia took over. It all started on an innocent Easter Sunday morning, one month before my 18th birthday…..

In Austria, we celebrate Easter in the morning…. and my family gathers together and a big breakfast is served with all different kinds of foods. In addition, we get lots of chocolate and candy from the Easter Bunny. Needless to say, during my eating disorder struggles, Easter was one of my least favourite days of the year.

On this specific Easter, I was sitting with my parents and siblings at the table, which was quite a challenge for me in itself—I felt overwhelmed: There was so much food and it scared me. And then I just lost it… I started eating, and even when we had already finished with breakfast and everything was already cleaned up again, I continued eating in my room. I didn’t know what was happening with me. I didn’t know what had come over me. This had never happened before. I just could not make myself stop. I just ate and ate and ate…. And my belly got bigger and bigger and bigger until it really hurt so much that I just had to stop. I was still not satisfied and could have gone on with eating for hours, but my body was completely stuffed. This was my first real binge and the beginning of a new chapter in my life………………

It took me a long while before I felt really comfortable with the holidays. However, I did find a few things that helped me get through them and I’d like to share them with you now: (and you’ll find more tips underneath)

- Make a list of things you can do to help relax and distract yourself from eating disorder thoughts and behaviours (i.e. take a relaxing hot bath with aroma oils and candles, go for a walk, call or visit a supportive friend, read your favourite book, write in your diary, paint your emotions, …)

- Focus on aspects of life unrelated to food and weight! Take a break from the repetitive messages about body image on television or in magazines. Do something you would not normally do—go for a hike, or volunteer for charity work. The holidays are a time for reflection and celebration, so make sure you take time to do both with the people you care about.

- Plan time for yourself. You need to rest and take care of yourself. It is very important to take special care of yourself during the holidays.

Today, I don’t have my eating disorder anymore. I enjoy holidays, especially Easter. I have many good childhood memories attached to this special holiday…. There are certain traditions in Austria connected to this day, and now that I am recovered, I am able to fully participate in them without feeling guilty.

You can do it too. It will take some work and patience, but you can turn Easter — and any other holiday — into a time to celebrate, rather than a time to fear.

I wish you a Happy Easter and hope you spend it together with the people you love!

Andrea

PS. Here are some more tips to help you make the best out of the Easter Holidays:

For many people, the holidays are a time of joy and celebration. It is a time to gather with family and friends, get caught up on each other’s lives, share a few laughs, and look forward to sitting down and enjoying the traditional holiday feast. For people with eating disorders, though, the holidays are not quite so enjoyable. In fact, they can be the ultimate nightmare. For many, the holidays bring tremendous stress, anxiety, and fear.

Here are some tips to help you cope with stress and food:

- Make a list of things you can do to help relax and distract yourself from the feelings of fullness after a big meal. (i.e. take a relaxing hot bath with aroma oils, go for a nice long walk, call or visit a supportive friend, read your favourite book, write in your diary, etc.)

- Make sure that there is food available that you feel comfortable eating. If you are invited, offer to bring something yourself so that you are sure there will be food available for you.

- Plan time for yourself. You need to rest and take care of yourself. It is very important to take special care of yourself during the holidays.

- Avoid focusing too much on food; it only fuels your eating disorder.

- Remember that you are responsible only for your own actions and for taking care of yourself.

- Focus on aspects of life unrelated to food and weight! Take a break from the repetitive messages about body image on television or in magazines. Do something you would not normally do - go for a hike, volunteer for charity work, or visit with friends. The holidays are a time for reflection and celebration, so make sure you take time to do both with the people you care about.

- Do your best not to count calories and to avoid the scale.

- Wear clothes that fit and that you feel comfortable in.

- Don't look in every mirror you see. Stop checking out yourself.

- Try to eat in some kind of regular pattern. Avoid "preparing for the last supper." Don’t skip meals and starve in attempt to make up for what you recently ate or are about to eat.

- If you can, let yourself enjoy a few "special occasion foods".

- If you feel yourself starting to panic because you are feeling too full or if you allowed yourself to eat foods that you consider to be forbidden, remind yourself it is okay to eat what you did, that food will not make you fat, and it is only normal to eat more during the holidays. Most people do and it really is okay.

- If you have a period where you end up bingeing or purging, do not beat yourself up over it. Just put it behind you and move forward.

- If you have to be at an event with certain people who make you uncomfortable, plan ways to excuse yourself from their immediate presence to avoid spending time with them.

- Prepare responses to make to people who may say something to you that would make you uncomfortable.

- If you feel you need to, set some boundaries for yourself by telling people ahead of time that you do not want anyone to comment on your appearance or your eating.

- Choose to stay away from certain events when you know there are people there who upset you and you are uncomfortable being around. People might want you to go but you have to take care of yourself.

- Please do what is right for you during the holidays. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into eating more than you can handle. You are not eating for them, you are eating for yourself. If being with certain family members or going home for the holidays is too stressful, you may have to seriously think about not going. Do not be afraid to disappoint people by not showing up and if you can, be honest about why you will not be attending. Holidays are a very stressful time for people with eating disorders and it really is important that you do whatever you need to do in order to make them easier on yourself.

- Get enough sleep! Shortage of sleep can create an unhealthy imbalance in your body, which will interfere with your ability to handle the holiday stress positively.

- Remember that the "ideal" and “picture perfect harmony” holiday is not real for many people. Some people can't afford it. Many single people aren't close to their families or don't have a family. Many families don't look like and act like the "picture book" family. You still might feel the pressure to have an "ideal" family. Don't blame yourself for problems in your family. People are the same at holidays and every other time of the year.

- Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day.

Breaking Free from the Eating Disorder Voice

2010-02-28T10:05:00.000-08:00

While I struggled with my eating disorder, I often wondered whether I would ever able to silence this toxic voice in my head, which was telling me I was not worthy, I was not beautiful, I was fat, to punish myself. It was like a non-stop negative tape recorder in my head.

And for years, I had mistaken this voice for my own true self. I thought they were one and the same---that I was the eating disorder.

Then I started my path to recovery.

I learned that the eating disorder takes on its own personified identity and then tries to convince you that the disorder is you. It can be difficult to see where one starts and one ends.

With lots of work, patience and persistence, I learned how to separate my own true self from the eating disorder voice. It was difficult, especially in the beginning, because my own voice was so small that I had trouble hearing it. The eating disorder was so loud and dominant.

I started to pay more and more attention to my own voice. Even when I was not able to do what it told me, I did my best to acknowledge it, and was thankful whenever I heard it was still there. I also slowly started to talk back to the eating disorder voice. I didn't want to be a slave to it any longer.

I found that the eating disorder voice started to grow weaker over time from neglect. The less I paid attention to it and more to my own voice, the stranger the eating disorder voice became. Over time, this toxic presence felt "sick", and out of place. And eventually, it faded away. Today, the eating disorder voice is gone.

The same can happen for you.

In the meantime, it is important to nurture your true you, your real voice. In the begnning, it can be difficult to tell these two voices apart -- yours and the eating disorder one. That's why it is important that whenever you hear your own voice speaking, to embrace it, celebrate it, trust it and give it room to grow.

It took time to develop the eating disorder, and it takes time to break free from it. But the important thing to remember is that breaking free from the eating disorder IS possible.

It's one day at a time. One step at a time. But these small steps add up to making a HUGE difference. Each of these baby steps brings us closer to recovery and a life free of ED (your eating disorder).

All the best and take good care of yourself,

Andrea

Recovery IS Possible!

2010-02-24T09:07:00.000-08:00

Eating Disorder Recovery:
A Q&A with Survivor & Advocate Andrea Roe
(Part 2)
By Margarita Tartakovsky, MS
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/

----------------------

Here’s part two of my interview with Andrea Roe, eating disorder survivor, advocate and author of You Are Not Alone, a compilation of inspiring stories, poems, artwork and song lyrics from women who’ve recovered from eating disorders or are in strong recovery.

Below, Andrea talks about how food became healing, how families can help a loved one with an eating disorder, her wonderful work with MentorCONNECT, resources she recommends and more.

Question: What are some misconceptions about eating disorders, particularly how they’re portrayed in the media?

Eating disorders are often referred to as a “teenage girl’s disease.” But the truth is that anyone, no matter what gender, age, race, religion, profession, etc., can develop an eating disorder. Eating disorders don’t discriminate. They are not simply about food and weight; they are about deeper things going on inside.

Question: Many people don’t realize the physical consequences of eating disorders, including electrolyte imbalances, irregular heartbeat, osteoporosis, severe tooth decay and digestive problems. Did you experience any health problems as a result of your eating disorder?

Yes, after abusing my body for several years, I had some health consequences as a result… and ironically enough, what helped me get better and helped heal my body was FOOD. Food, my enemy that I hated so much before, ended up becoming my medicine.

Question: What can family members do to help a loved one seek treatment and how can they help during treatment?

Be supportive. Let your loved one know you are always there for them, no matter what. Encourage them to do activities with you. Go for a walk. Go shopping. Spend time on hobbies the sufferer still enjoys. Just having a meaningful conversation.

It is often difficult for someone with an eating disorder to be really open and honest with their loved ones as there is so much fear and shame connected with this disorder. We are afraid of being rejected, being made fun of, being left alone.

Don’t force them to act “normal.” You cannot force someone with an eating disorder to change their beliefs or behaviors. You cannot force an anorexic to eat, a bulimic to stop vomiting, or a binge eater to stop eating huge amounts of food. We have to remember that eating disorders are not simply about food and weight.

As well, learn as much as you can about eating disorders. There are many books written for loved ones filled with information on eating disorders and also tips and advice on how to best support someone with an eating disorder, what to say and do and also what not to say and do. Eating disorders are still very misunderstood in today’s culture. A little education can go a long way.

REMEMBER: Be realistic. Successfully dealing with an eating disorder takes time. Don’t expect your loved one to be “cured” right after treatment. Recovery is a process. There is also no rule for how long it takes for someone to recover. We all have different stories to tell, different reasons why we developed our eating disorders, and we are all at different points in our lives.

Question: What kinds of resources (books, websites) do you recommend for individuals struggling with eating disorders?

There are a lot of wonderful resources available, many of which I used myself during my own recovery.

Here is a list of my favorite eating disorder recovery books:

To continue reading, visit http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2010/02/on-eating-disorder-recovery-resources-support-part-2-of-qa-with-andrea-roe/

There IS Hope - Eating Disorders CAN be beaten!

2010-02-23T13:26:00.000-08:00

Eating Disorder Recovery:

A Q&A with Survivor & Advocate Andrea Roe

(Part 1)

By Margarita Tartakovsky, MS

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/

----------------------

Andrea Roe is an eating disorder survivor, advocate and author. I’m so thrilled to present my interview with Andrea below. Her story is one that many of us can relate to, a story of insecurity, self-doubt, of feeling alone and embarrassed, of denial, secrecy and suffering. But, ultimately, it’s a story of hope, healing, support and strong recovery.

Her story will resonate with so many readers, whether you have an eating disorder or not. I’m tremendously thankful to Andrea for sharing her story here. I think you’ll find that Andrea offers a great deal of wisdom, insight and inspiration.

I highly recommend signing up for Andrea’s newsletter because it’s packed with great information and inspiring stories. You can sign up here: www.youarenotalonebook.com/supportletter.php

In part two of the Q&A, which will be published tomorrow, Andrea talks about eating disorder myths, recommended resources, how families can help and much more.

----------------------

Question: Please tell us a bit about yourself and your book, You Are Not Alone, volumes one and two?

My name is Andrea Roe. I’m 27 years old and live together with my husband in beautiful British Columbia, Canada. I am actually Austrian and moved to North America seven years ago. It took me about two years to get used to living here, but now I love it.

My ten-year battle with body image issues and depression started when I was around thirteen years old — I developed acne and started hating my face because of it. By the age of sixteen, I had developed anorexia, which eventually turned into bulimia. I was a slave to my eating disorder for about six years. For the majority of my struggles, I felt so alone. I was embarrassed and scared, so much so that, for several years, I didn’t tell anyone about what I was going through.

Today I am recovered. And now that I am healthy, it is my passion to reach out, share my story, support others in their healing journey, and most importantly, spread the message of HOPE – that recovery really IS possible.

During my own recovery, being in touch with others who were either also in recovery or already recovered was SO powerful for me. They understood and didn’t judge me. What I got out of these conversations was that I was really NOT alone and if they could recover, I COULD TOO!

Because I got so much out of hearing and reading other people’s recovery experiences, I decided to connect with recovered/in-recovery individuals and create a book of inspiring stories. The effort became You Are Not Alone: The Book of Companionship for Women with Eating disorders – Volume 1 in 2006 and Volume 2 (which includes Companion CD produced by Shannon Cutts) in 2009. For more information, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com/yana.php

On a regular basis, I visit schools and support groups in Canada and the US to raise awareness, talk about eating disorders and body image, share my personal recovery story and what helped me get healthy to inspire others to stay strong and keep fighting. There is so much negativity out there and it is important to let people know that there is HOPE and eating disorders can be beaten. I am proof of this.

For more information about my recovery and work, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com

Question: How and when did your eating disorder start? What do you think contributed to it?

I was a shy child. I didn’t stand up for myself. Simply put, I didn’t have much self-esteem. I actually don’t know why but I never felt good or pretty enough. I was a “people pleaser” and wanted everybody to like me. As a result of my low self-esteem and constant self-doubt, during puberty I developed severe body image issues and depression, which eventually turned into an eating disorder. I thought that maybe with changing the way I look (as in losing a few pounds) people would like me more … and as a result, I thought maybe I would like myself more.

By the time I was sixteen, I had anorexia, which I struggled with for about two years. During that time, I actually didn’t know I had an eating disorder. No one around me noticed it either. That is the sad thing about eating disorders that they can be hidden so well. I was in denial. I thought that what I was doing was ‘normal.’

I wasn’t educated much about eating disorders. I didn’t really know what they were. I thought one had to be either super skinny or really heavy in order to have an eating disorder, but I was neither. The truth is that most people who struggle with an eating disorder are in the normal healthy weight range. … it can be very difficult to tell whether someone has an eating disorder or not. They are unfortunately very easy to hide. And this is one of the dangerous things about eating disorders that they can be hidden so well, and for a long time as well.

When my anorexia turned to bulimia and I started binge eating, that’s when I hit the point where I could not deny my problem any longer and I was finally able to admit to myself that what I was doing was not healthy, not normal, and that I needed help to stop this behavior.

But I did not know what to do or where to start with my recovery. I felt lost and confused and thought I was the only one who had this problem. I began to search the internet for answers and that’s when I found out that what I had actually had a name … “Anorexia” and “Bulimia.”

I started reading books about eating disorders and found them to be very interesting and also comforting. I felt like I was NOT alone and that it was possible to get healthy.

Question: What motivated you to seek treatment?

I wanted to get rid of my eating disorder and tried numerous times to recover by myself but it never worked. Even though I had read that recovery does exist, I didn’t really believe it was possible for me.

To continue reading, visit http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2010/02/eating-disorder-recovery-a-qa-with-survivor-advocate-andrea-roe/

It's Not About Food & Weight

2010-01-21T13:46:00.000-08:00

For the longest time I actually thought that my problems were about food and weight -- I really thought that was the real issue. It didn't occur to me that there were other things going on deep inside of me and the eating disorder was the sympton of these things. It took a while for me to really understand (and feel) that my eating disorder was not simply about food and weight but an attempt to use food and weight to deal with internal struggles and ultimately life.

Once I really got that my eating disorder was the symptom of something deeper going on inside and that food and my body were not the enemy (even though it often felt like it), I was able to realize the real issues. I was finally able to work on these things and ultimately find recovery.

Simply put, up to this point, I had used my eating disorder as a way of dealing with life -- it was my coping mechanism. A very unhealthy coping mechanism, of course. Once I understood this and was able to identify myself with this theory, I was able to work on my real issues and come up with better ways of coping. It was a s-l-o-w process - baby steps, but I eventually got there. I had setbacks, I had a lot, but I kept on fighting. I never gave up, even though I was very close to it many times. But I had people in my life who helped me get back up again whenever I fell... and because I kept on fighting, kept on pushing myself to move out of my comfort zone, I was able to recover. As long as we don't give up, we can and will reach our goals.

I had many motivations that kept me going... and I'd remind myself on an almost daily basis about my goals and dreams. I had a journal in which I'd put all the things that I wanted to do in life and in order to achieve most of these things, I just had to be healthy... and I also had a goal list glued to my mirror in my room. It is rewarding to look back now and see how many of those things I have actually done.

I recommend you do this very powerful exercise too. Keep focusing on your goals and dreams and what you want in and from life, write these things down and remind yourself about them on a regular basis. Your goals will motivate you to move forward and keep taking action. Whatever happens, keep looking forward, keep moving forward and don't give up. You have it in you what it takes to overcome your struggles.

All the best and keep on believing in yourself!

Andrea

"Recovery from an eating disorder really IS possible. I am proof of this and not the exception to the rule!" - Andrea Roe

For more information about Andrea and her work, visit http://www.youarenotalonebook.com/

Reach for the moon....

2009-12-30T09:17:00.000-08:00

Time flies… 2009 has gone by sooooo fast! And as we approach the New Year, I reflect upon the past 365 days to see how I did with my goals, where I’ve done well and what still needs improvement.

Then I look forward to the upcoming year and revamp my goal list. I decide if I want to keep going after goals I didn’t accomplish from last year – or choose some brand new ones.

I have started working on defining my goals for 2010 and my theme for the new year will be "Reach for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

During my eating disorder recovery I learned that it’s important to have dreams and to set goals for yourself that will keep you motivated, especially during the difficult times.

What are your goals for the year? What is your theme? Write it all down.

Being clear about what you want and writing your goals down is the first step to achieving them. But it’s not enough to just write them down; it’s even more important to take action and start working towards them in order to achieve them. And I’d like to share with you two things that I learned during my recovery process that I still do every single day. During my healing journey, I had to force myself to do them. Today, I just do them automatically.

1) Is what I’m doing moving me closer towards my goals? … Every night before I go to bed, I think about my day and think whether what I did moved me closer towards my goals. I stay focused.

2) Taking care of myself! … Every day, I do at least one thing that makes me feel good and that I enjoy doing. This can be something like painting my nails, trying out some new make-up, going for a walk, taking a nice, relaxing bath with aroma oils and candles, scrap booking or dancing to my favourite music.

Dream big – and then take ACTION!

I'm looking forward to the journey, and I hope, so are you.

I wish you all the best for 2010!

Andrea

"Recovery from an eating disorder really IS possible. I am proof of this and not the exception to the rule!" - Andrea Roe

For more information about Andrea and her work, visit http://www.youarenotalonebook.com/

You Are NOT Your Eating Disorder

2009-12-28T11:34:00.000-08:00

In the beginning, the eating disorder felt like it was a friend to me. It was a solution to my problems. When everything else in my life seemed so out of control, the eating disorder was there for me, comforting me. But soon enough, the eating disorder showed its true face. And it turned out it was not a friend -- and never was.

A friend does not beat you up, a friend does not make you punish yourself, a friend does not make you feel miserable, a friend does not take away your passions... the eating disorder is not your friend.

And whenever you hear the voice in your head telling you that you aren't good enough, need to lose weight, punish yourself… ask yourself if that is the "real you" that is talking, or if it is your eating disorder that is speaking to you. At first, it can be very difficult to separate these two voices as it feels like you are "it" and "it" is you... When I struggled, it felt like the eating disorder was me, and I was “it” – “it” was my identity; I didn't know who I was without it. I had forgotten.

During my recovery, I had to learn to separate these two voices --- mine and the eating disorder voice. And when it was the eating disorder talking, I had to learn to fight back, talk back and disobey its commands. I had to learn to take control back over my life -- after all, it was MY life, not the eating disorder's.

Now you have to do the same. And through it, your recovery will come. You can learn to love and enjoy your life again. Please stay strong and keep on believing in yourself!

All the best and take good care of yourself,

Andrea

For more information and to get in touch with me, visit http://www.youarenotalonebook.com/

Dealing with Setbacks

2009-12-18T13:51:00.000-08:00

During my recovery I had setbacks - A LOT of setbacks. And whenever I fell, I had to learn not to beat myself up but be kind and patient with myself. It was often very hard to get back up again and continue on with my recovery and healing journey. Sometimes I was able to get back up again by myself… I'd spend some time in my misery and with my eating disorder but eventually got tired of feeling this way and somehow found the strength to pull myself back up again.

And sometimes, when I felt too weak to get back up again by myself - just tired of the whole recovery process and close to giving up the fight - I had people in my life who helped me get back up again. And I was angry, frustrated, felt like a failure and just wanted to be left alone... but my support team didn't care—all they wanted was to get me out of this dark place again as soon as possible so I could continue on with my journey and move forward to reach my goals. And often I got mad at my support team for helping me get back up…I didn't feel strong enough to get back up again. I was tired of trying again as I *knew* I'd just fail again in the end anyways. I was tired of being disappointed again and again, of failing again and again. But my support team never gave up on me.

In case you haven't already, please reach out and get help. You deserve to get help. You deserve to be happy and healthy. You deserve to live your life without the eating disorder. And in order for someone to successfully recover, help and support from others is crucial. If it wasn't for my support team, I would not be where I am today. I would have given up somewhere on the way. It's important to have others in our lives who believe in us and help us get back up again when we fall. Recovery is not easy...but it is well worth it. This is a battle that can be won.

It's important to find those people that will support you through the good times and the bad. It could be someone in your family or a friend, your therapist or support group. Don't forget online. There are a number of really great communities out there whose sole purpose is to support you through this challenging time. MentorCONNECT (www.key-to-life.com/mentorconnect), Bulimia Help (www.bulimiahelp.org/) Pale Reflections (www.pale-reflections.com/) or Something Fishy (www.something-fishy.org/) are good places to start, but there are also others out there.

The key is to find those first few people. Then, you'll no longer have to carry your burden by yourself anymore.

Stay strong and learn to believe in yourself. You can do this!

Andrea

PS. For more information about my recovery and to get in touch with me, visit www.youarenotalonebook.com

Welcome! :-)

2009-12-13T20:41:00.000-08:00

I'm excited about finally having my own blog and am looking forward to sharing with you here my experiences with eating disorders, body image issues, depression – and most importantly, my recovery!

I hated myself and my life for years. My eating disorder ruled my life. My body was in pain. My mind was in pain. I was a sad and lonely girl—constantly abusing my body, destroying my self-respect. Depression and self-hatred were a regular part of my life.

Most of the time I would spend in my room, alone—starving myself, binging or trying to get rid of what I had eaten. I was not living, I was just *existing*. And for the longest time, I thought that I was the ONLY person in the world who experienced this. I did not even know that what I had had a name. I felt so alone and helpless. I was so embarrassed about my obsession with food, my body, my weight and calories that, for the longest time, I did not tell ANYONE about what I was going through and how I was really doing.

Many nights I would cry myself to sleep, wondering if I was ever going to recover—or if there even was such a thing as ‘recovery'....

But I wanted to get better. I was sick of living this way. I was sick of my eating disorder and everything connected with it. I wanted to be FREE! I wanted to be happy and healthy again. And so I started searching for an answer, a way out.

And I found something, but it was NOT what I was looking for. I heard that full recovery does not exist and that one has to learn to live with their eating disorder for the rest of their life...

However, I did not want to live with my eating disorder forever, so I made a choice not to believe what I heard. I chose to challenge this opinion. And once I opened up my mind to the thought that recovery was indeed possible, something changed... Suddenly, I discovered that there was a whole community of women and men who managed to fully recover and who shared their stories in online forums, on their personal websites and in their books.

The stories of others who managed to recover gave me HOPE. The main message that I got out of these stories was – if they can recover, I can too!!!

These women were my heroes. I admired them for their achievement and also for their courage to openly and honestly talk about their eating disorder struggles and recovery. They were my role models, and one day, I wanted to be like them – I wanted to share my recovery success story and inspire others to keep fighting and recover too.

Today, I am recovered. I am happy with myself and my life. Now, I see it as my mission to provide hope, support and inspiration by sharing my story. I want you to know that you are not alone!

Recovery really IS possible. I’m not just saying this because it ‘sounds good’. I am saying this because I truly believe it. I am proof that it IS possible!

And I am not the only one who managed to successfully recover from an eating disorder. I am not the exception to the rule. There are countless women and men who managed to successfully overcome their eating disorders... some of them struggled for two, five or ten years, and some for twenty or more years... No matter what's your story, you are NOT a hopeless case. Recovery is possible, also for you.

But you must realize that recovery is something that happens within you and no one else. No one can recover for you, and there is also no magic recovery pill. But I believe that we all have it in us what it takes to overcome our struggles.

"If we all did the things we are really capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves."
(Thomas Edison)

Recovery is a process. It takes time. It does not happen overnight. Your eating disorder started years before you first binged, purged, or starved yourself – and it will take time to overcome this disorder.

There is also no rule for how long it takes for someone to recover. We all have different stories to tell, different reasons why we developed our eating disorders, and we are all at different points in our lives. Please don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Be gentle on yourself.

There will be setbacks...
But no matter what happens, do not give up!

I know how you feel. I know what it is like. I have been there! And I want you to know that this is not the end. Your life does NOT have to continue like this. There is a way out—there is help, there is hope and recovery IS possible. You can learn to love and enjoy your life again. And I'm looking forward to sharing with you here what helped me overcome my struggles, in the hopes that it will help you get better as well.

All the best and take good care of yourself,

Andrea